The Virtue of Forbearance

Our new virtue for this quarter is Forbearance. This is a tough one for kids - and even adults - to understand. Forbearance is showing self-control, patience, and tolerance especially in the face of provocation.

One example of forbearance is when one student patiently works with another student on a concept without getting frustrated or complaining. This would be a great topic to discuss when beginning to work on a group project.

Another great example - that happens to me all the time - is when something goes wrong with technology in the classroom. A video won't show up, there is no sound, the smart board needs to be calibrated, etc. Often times all of the students in the room want to jump up and tell the teacher what to do. This can be a great lesson in forbearance. Being patient and understanding while the problem is dealt with by the teacher.

Here are my bulletin boards for the quarter...

BEE forBEARing - in the main hallway. Each of the bees discusses a different way to show forbearance.

Keep Calm and Forbear On - in the middle school hallway. The smaller red pieces have different quotes relating to forbearance, patience, and self-control. I especially love the quote from T.H. White - "The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and silently watch someone else do it wrong." This is something that I struggle with all of the time in both my personal and professional life.

Kindness Class Projects

Here are some examples of what the classes have been doing for the virtue of Kindness.

In Kindergarten, we read The Kindness Quilt by Nancy Elizabeth Wallace. We discussed different examples of kindness and then each student created their own "quilt square". I cut scrapbook paper into 5 inch by 5 inch squares and regular copy paper into 4.5 inch by 4.5 inch squares and glued them together.

For our second Kindergarten lesson, we read The Crayon Box That Talked by Shane DeRolf. We discussed how the crayons were all different but had to work together and be kind in order to create a beautiful picture. We then discussed how the students could work together and treat each other with kindness. The students then decorated their own paper crayons.

For one of my 2nd grade lesson, we read Kindness to Share from A to Z by Todd and Peggy Snow. The students then worked in groups to come up with sentences/examples of kindness for each of the letters of the alphabet. They did a great job coming up with their sentences and were very creative! 

In 5th grade, we discussed the concept of building one another up versus tearing each other down. The students made pledges to build others up by doing kind acts for one another. 

Here are some examples of class projects from around the building.

Kindness Bulletin Boards

I thought that I had posted about this already, but I guess not. Our first virtue for the year was Kindness. I have two bulletin boards that I am in charge of, one in the main hallway, near the front office, and the other outside my office in the 5th-8th grade wing.

The one in the main hallway is in a pretty prominent space and can be seen by all parents and students entering the school through the main doors or going to the front office. I try to keep this bulletin board more "primary" in focus. The theme is simpler and the suggestions are easy to understand. With the leaves starting to change and fall in the air, I decided to play off of the idea of raking leaves, but instead focusing on Random Acts of Kindness. The kids loved see the actual rake on the board. I got it at Dollar Tree in their summer/beach section over the summer.

For the board in the middle school wing, I try to go with more "popular" or "in" ideas. I had seen this idea all over Pinterest so I just had to use it. It is a play on Carley Ray Jepson's song, Call Me Maybe. The kids thought it was pretty funny.

Virtues Rock!

Our Virtue-Based Restorative Discipline program is going very well so far. The faculty, students, and parents have all been educated about the program and "buy-in" seems to be pretty strong. I have visited almost every class for our first virtues lesson and most teacher have created some sort of project in their class meetings. Things are going great but I am always looking for fun little additions.

Inspired by Barbara at The Corner on Character, I created a little song to sing my younger students before our classroom guidance lessons. I incorporated the four virtues that we are focusing on this year: Kindness, Forbearance, Forgiveness, and Unity. Hopefully I will be able to come up with a new verse each year as we move on to different virtues. I plan to use this with JK and Kindergarten and maybe even up to 2nd grade.

Virtues Rock! (to the tune The Addams Family)

Virtues rock! (clap clap)
Virtues rock! (clap clap)
Virtues rock, virtues rock, virtues rock! (clap clap)

When we show kindness to each other,
and bear with one another,
forgive and work together,
we rock our virtues!

Virtues rock! (clap clap)
Virtues rock! (clap clap)
Virtues rock, virtues rock, virtues rock! (clap clap)

Virtue-Based Restorative Discipline

I am really excited about the new program that we are starting this year! It is called Virtue-Based Restorative Discipline (VBRD) and focuses on living a virtuous life and repairing any harm that is done. It takes away from the idea of bullying and focuses more on any harm that is done. Most bullying definitions focus on an imbalance of power and repeated behavior. When focusing on bullying, I have run into several problems - parents want you to focus on bullying but don't want to hear it when their child is "accused of bullying". This often leads to a blame game and chasing who "did it first". Parents and students have a hard time taking responsibility if they are seen as "the bully". 

VBRD focuses on any harm done - whether it was repetitive or a one time incident. The idea is that any harm is harm, and should be taken seriously no matter what. And not just focusing on the harm, but on restoring the harm as well.

And the main focus - virtues - ties in so much better to our Catholic school identity than any other character education program. For the previous 5 years as a school counselor, I have used character education materials but have had to add more to them in order for them to fit in with our faith. Now with this program, it's already done for me!

This year, we chose to focus on four virtues from Colossians 3:12-15 - Kindness, Forbearance, Forgiveness, and Unity. We will focus on one each quarter, starting with Kindness. Our overarching theme is "Crusaders for Virtue" since our mascot is the crusader and our goal for the year is "We will be virtuous in our thoughts, words, and deeds." This goal replaces the Kindness Rules that we previously used with the Olweus program.

VBRD will be incorporated into:

• Weekly class meeting for all classes
• Monthly classroom guidance lessons
• Weekly announcements on Wednesdays reminding students about the virtue
• Students and Classes recognized weekly for practicing virtue
• Witness Wednesday parent prayer at afternoon carpool
• Staff Circles reflection time every other month
• Faculty book discussion every other month (Introductory Primer for Implementing Virtue-Based Restorative Discipline: A Catholic Response to Bullying and Discipline by Lynne Lang)
• Parent book discussion (Three Things You Can Do to Increase Catholic School Enrollment and Mass Attendance by Lynne Lang)
• Virtue information advertised on bulletin boards and through student projects hanging in the halls
• Incorporation into school Masses through greeting and Homily
• Student survey at the beginning and end of the school year

Although this program has meant that I have had to redo almost all of my classroom guidance lessons, I really think that it is worth it. With all of the incorporation details that I mentioned above, it feels like much more of a school-wide effort than previous programs have. I am really looking forward to how the program grows and evolves over the next year and into the future. 

For more information about VBRD, please visit the website www.virtuebase.org 

You can also watch this short video which sums up how VBRD works in schools in our area. 

No Name-Calling Week

This year for No Name-Calling Week, I was introduced to some new material that fit in very well with our Catholic school identity. I gave the teachers a packet of information and several classroom activities that they could choose from to introduce the topic of no name-calling to their students. The lessons involved discussing the many names that we have for Jesus and what they mean to us. The students then discussed the names that they are sometimes called that hurt their feelings. The teachers then led discussions about the names or qualities that the students felt God had given them. They then decorated a candle with these names (or their actual names) and I created a large wall display.


One of the Kindergarten teachers did such a great job with this lesson! She first asked her students to think of all of the names they could for Jesus and created a chart. She then talked to them about the importance of names and how calling someone a mean name can hurt their feelings. She talked with her students about the positive names they would want to be called and wrote down each students "inner name" next to their actual name. Some of the examples were "helpful", "loving", "caring", "special", and "joyful". The students then used this to create their candles. It was such a great lesson and the Kindergarten students really got it!

Here is a picture of our final product. Some of the students wrote their actual names on their candles, which is fine - I would rather have them be called by their actual names than a mean name anyway. This large candle is hung in our main hallway and all of the students pass by it on their way to lunch. It is great to see them stop and look at all of the candles, pointing out their own to their friends, teachers, and family. I am really happy with the way it turned out!

Honesty

Our virtue for January was Honesty. In 2nd grade, we talked about how hard it is to cover up a lie. I saw this cute idea here - "Water" You Covering Up? Fill a large bowl with water and place a quarter at the bottom. Each student is given a penny and tries to cover up the quarter by dropping their penny in the water. My students loved this "experiment". The quarter represents the initial lie and the pennies represent all of the lies told to try to cover up the original lie. We sat in a circle on the floor around the bowl and each student got a turn to try and cover up the quarter. A few students actually did cover up the quarter partially, so I had to remind them that we could still see part of the quarter, so the lie was still there. After everyone had a chance, I asked the students how many more pennies they would have to use to try to cover up the lie completely. We then talked about the only way to get ourselves out of this problem was by telling the truth. If we tell the truth from the start, we don't have to worry about covering anything up. Each student was given a (dry) penny at the end of the lesson as a reminder to be honest.

Kindness: Post-It Poem

For our December virtue of Kindness, the 6th graders created a post-it poem. I saw the idea here and knew that I could use it in classroom guidance. We first discussed the definition of kindness and examples of kind acts. Then we came up with all of the words that we could think of that we associate with kindness. They could be synonyms or phrases that they felt related to kindness. I was planning on coming up with at least one word per student and then assigning a word to each student, but we were running short on time. Each student was given a post-it note and asked to pick one of the words that we came up with. They were able to decorate their post-it and write the word in any way that they wanted. They then stuck their post-its on a large piece of poster paper. I then took the poster and glued the post-it's so that they would stay.

Stewardship

We learned about Stewardship in November. The focus for grades K, 1, 2, 4, 6, and 7, the focus was on Time, Talent, and Treasure. Stewardship is a tough subject to teach since it isn't a word that we use often in our vocabulary like Respect, Responsibility and Honesty. But, once time is spent defining the word and giving examples, I have found that the students are very capable of understanding how they can share and give themselves in service to others. The focus for grades 3, 5, and 8 was on career education and exploration.

In Kindergarten, we read The Gift of Nothing by Patrick McDonnell. In the story, Mooch, the cat, tries to think of a gift to give his friend Earl, the dog. Earl has everything and Mooch isn't sure what to get his friend. In the end, Mooch decides to give Earl "nothing" but his friendship. After reading the book we talked about what "nothings" we had to give others: love, kindness, a smile, asking someone to play, helping a friend in need, etc. After our discussion, the students drew a picture of a "nothing" they plan to give.

In 4th grade, we read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. This is one of my all-time favorites. I love Shel Silverstein poems, and aside from "Sick" and "Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too", this is the best! We read the poem and talked about all of the gifts that the tree gave to the boy. In the end, the tree felt that she had nothing left to give, but she was still able to give the boy a place to rest. After reading the poem, we talked about all of the ways that we can give to others, even if we don't think that we have anything left to give. Each student wrote their ideas on a leaf and we decorated our own giving tree.

In 6th grade, we discussed the definition of Stewardship and examples of how we can share our time, talent, and treasure. We then listened to the song My Own Two Hands by Jack Johnson. The song talks about being able to change the world and make it a better place with our own two hands. We talked about our personal abilities to help other and each student came up with five ideas of how they can show stewardship. The traced their hand, cut it out, and wrote their ideas on each of their fingers.

Red Ribbon Week

To celebrate Red Ribbon Week this year, I provided the teachers with short classroom activities and lessons that they could incorporate into their classes. Each student was also given a red bracelet on Monday and asked to sign a pledge card stating that they will remain drug free. I collected all of the signed pledge cards and turned them into a giant red ribbon that is hung in the main hallway. Every class passes the ribbon on their way to the cafeteria, so it is in a great location and can be seen by everyone. I have heard many students making great comments about it as they try to find their pledge card.

Next year, I would like to incorporate many of the great Red Ribbon Week ideas that I have seen on other school counselor website such as themed days, dress up days, and community activities. Since this is my first year at my new school and their first year having a counselor, I wanted to start off slow and get everyone acclimated with the purpose of Red Ribbon Week before I incorporate more activities.

Red Ribbon Week also tied in nicely to our October virtue of Respect. We talked about respecting our bodies, minds, and friendships by staying drug free.

Say Something

For the Respect lesson in 5th grade, we read the book Say Something by Peggy Moss. This is a great book to go along with the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program because it talks about the roles of the bystander and ally. In the book, the main character sees other students being made fun of, pushed around, and laughed at. She comments to the reader that she does not do those things, but she does not defend the other students either. After reading the book, we discussed the terms bully, victim, and bystander. We discussed the different reasons why someone may remain a bystander and not stand up for the victim.

After our discussion we talked about how to "say something" to stand up against bullying. The students came up

with ideas of phrases they could say to both the bully and the victim such as "Stop it! That's not nice!" or "Come and play with me today." We then created a poster with all of our sayings. The posters are hung in the 5th grade classrooms as a reminder for the students to say something and become an ally rather than a bystander.

Simon's Hook - A Lesson in Respect

During the month of October, we discussed the virtue of Respect. In 3rd grade, we read the book Simon's Hook. I actually found a few YouTube videos based on the book (Part 1 and Part 2 can be found here). I ended up showing the students the videos instead of reading the book because they did a better job of explaining the different fish comments. A lot of the pages in the book contain thought or speech bubbles, which I find hard to use in a read-aloud. I thought the videos did a better job than I could. The videos are a little hokey, but the kids really liked them. I think it also helped to keep their attention longer than if I was reading the book in front of the class. We do not have document cameras, so having it up on the SmartBoard for everyone to see is always a plus!

We watched the first two videos and discussed how teasers and bullies will throw out hooks by calling names or making fun. It is easy to get caught by their hooks and make fun back, get angry, and let the hook get to you. The book gives five alternatives for being able to "swim free" and not get hooked.

1. Do little or nothing - don't react

2. Agree with the hook

3. Distract - change the subject

4. Laugh or make a joke

5. Stay away

After our discussion, each student chose one way that they can avoid getting hooked and decorated a paper fish. We hung all of the fish on a poster to help remind the students that they have the power to control their own reactions and avoid getting hooked by teases and put-downs.

Responsibility

September was Responsibility Month. In 5th grade we discussed "Keys to Success" again this year. Here is a new poster from my new school. More information about this lesson can be found in a previous post. We talked about what goes into being a successful student and the need to be responsible.

In 4th grade, we read Shel Silverstein's poem, Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out. We discussed how Sarah's responsibility of taking the garbage out literally started piling up on her. To demonstrate how our own responsibilities begin to pile up if we don't take care of them, I brought a bag of "clean" trash (crumpled up paper, paper towel tubes, empty water bottles, etc). We talked about one of the responsibilities the students' have: taking tests. We went through the different steps needed to do well on a test, such as paying attention in class, completing classwork and homework, reading the textbook or reading book, completing a study guide, studying several days in advance of the test, getting a good night's sleep, and eating a healthy breakfast. After we listed all of the steps, we went through them again, but this time, I asked the students what would happen if they did not do that step and threw a piece of trash on the pile. Soon, the pile so high it began to topple over and we talked about how hard it would be take on the responsibility of doing well on a test when you haven't been paying attention, haven't been completing the work, haven't been reading, and haven't been studying. That responsibility would seem too large and the "pile" would be too tall to tackle. After our discussion, each student wrote a promise to themselves to be responsible this year.

November: Stewardship

In November, we focused on the virtue of Stewardship - sharing our time, talents, and treasure with others. This is a great virtue to talk about during Thanksgiving. We don't often focus on all of the things wonderful things in our lives and Thanksgiving gives us that reminder to be thankful for what we have. Showing stewardship allows us to share our gifts with others.

3rd Grade: We explored career clusters as a way of sharing our time, talent, and treasures with others. I have been gathering hats, props, vests and other career items for a few years. Michaels, Dollar Tree, and the Target Dollar Spot have great career items every once in a while. Anytime I see something, I pick it up. For 3rd grade, I hand out a career card to each student. These are color coded depending on the different career paths. The students read the career and a short descriptions and then break off into their color groups. Most of the career cards also have some sort of career "prop" to go with them (handcuffs for the police officer, stethoscope for the doctor, funny money for the banker, etc). In their groups, the students have to try and figure out why their careers are grouped together. At the end, each student is able to explain their career and then the groups tell the class why their careers go together. We then discuss what career clusters are. The students REALLY enjoy dressing up like their careers and give me great ideas for future "props". After the lesson, I hang some of the cards and props on a bulletin board.

5th and 8th Grades: We focused on career exploration as a way to show stewardship. We can share our talents and interests to help others through the career that we choose. Virginia Career View has a wonderful website that offers games and activities for students of all grades to begin the career exploration process. In grades 5 and 8, we use VA Career View take the career interest inventories of Kids Search (grades K-5) and Who R U? (grades 6-8). More information can be found on their website http://www.vaview.vt.edu/ There are tons of games and other activities including printable books and worksheets.

October: Respect

Way back in October, we learned about Respect. The focus in the lower grades was how to show respect to classmates, teachers, parents, and selves. The focus in the upper grades was on bullying. We also talked about respecting our bodies and everyone signed a pledge card for Red Ribbon Week.

Follow the Golden Rule Bulletin Board

Radiating Respect Bulletin Board with examples of showing respect

Red Ribbon Week Pledge Bulletin Board

Each smaller ribbon is made up of each classes pledge cards.

In 1st grade we talked about how mean and disrespectful comments and actions cannot be undone. This was illustrated by using a mini tube of toothpaste. One student was chosen to squirt out some toothpaste onto a plate. Another student was chosen to try to put the toothpaste back in the tube. We talked about how it was impossible to get all of the toothpaste back in the tube after it was squirted out. This was related to disrespectful actions and comments and how we cannot go back in time. The students discussed ways to resolve issues of disrespect and we practiced apologizing to each other.

Each student colored in a toothbrush and I put them on a paper toothpaste tube as a reminder of the lesson.

September: Responsibility

We started the year off by focusing on the virtue of Responsibility. This is a good topic to start the year off with to help students learn to take responsibility for themselves - their actions, their words, their education, and their relationships.

1st Grade: We talked about the new responsibilities the students have this year that differ from when they were in Kindergarten. I drew a large body on poster board and named it "Freddy First Grader". We then filled in the body with new responsibilities or activities they have now in first grade.

2nd Grade: We read the book Regina's Big Mistake and talked about how Regina was irresponsible in handling her mistake at the beginning of the book (crumpling up her paper) and how she was able to act responsibly at the end (admitting she made a mistake and trying to turn it into something better). We discussed ways that they could handle mistakes in a responsible manner (saying sorry, trying hard not to do it again, etc).

4th Grade: We discussed the poem Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out by Shel Silverstein and related the piling up of trash to the piling up of problems if we do not take responsibility. I illustrated this by brining in a garbage bag of "trash" (crumpled up paper). We tackled the responsibility of school work and homework. I started off saying that a student decided not to write in his/her assignment notebook and threw a piece of paper on the ground. We then went through a series of consequences that might happen as a result (not completing the homework, not knowing when the test is, not doing well on the test, not doing well in the class, etc) each time throwing a piece of paper on the floor until the floor was covered. We then discussed how they can be more responsible. Each time they gave an idea, I picked up one of the pieces of paper.

5th Grade: We discussed how our attitudes, thoughts, and actions can impact our ability to be responsible. If we have a negative attitude about something (I hate math), that leads to a negative thought (Math is useless and I don't have to do it), which leads to a negative action (Not completing math homework). Positive attitudes, in turn, lead to positive thoughts, which lead to positive actions. We can be much more responsible when we are believing, thinking, and doing something positive. These are the "keys" to responsibility success. Each student decorated a paper key with one way they planned to be responsible this year.

Responsibility is the Key to Success: Suggesting ways to be responsible such as writing assignments down, coming up with plans to get things done and not blaming others or making excuses.

Fall into Responsibility

You are Responsible for Yourself: Actions, Choices, Attitudes, Thoughts, Behaviors, Words, Reactions, Emotions

Off to a Good Start

Week one is almost officially over! It's hard to believe the school year has already begun. I am really looking forward to trying out some new lessons and activities this year. I am also getting involved in an afterschool group for girls in grades 3-5. I have also agreed to be a member of my districts crisis team. Our school is also going through it's re-accredidation this year, so I will be involved in that. It is going to be a very busy year, but I am excited about it!

Here are some pictures of what I have been working on the first two weeks back.

Here is a picture of my office, nice and organized. Let's hope that it stays that way. On the right I have two large bookshelves. One holds all of my classroom and student resources such as picture books, workbooks, and lesson plans. The other holds parent and teacher resource books and my college and grad school textbooks. I have a very large "kidney bean" table that my principal bought me last year. I love it because I can sit in the "cut out" and be able to see all of the students.

Here is my nice and tidy desk (today I left it in shambles because I was working on a project that I didn't finish). I have a small filing cabinet under my desk where I keep confidential files. I have projects that I am currently working on in a file divider on the corner. The large filing cabinet holds all of our standardized testing supplies which I completely rearranged at the beginning of last year only to find out that we would be ordering new materials this year. Oh well, it will give me something else to organize! On the right I have two good sized filing cabinets. The far one holds standardized testing scores and statistics. The closer one holds all of my files for just about every topic imaginable from A-Z.

We are going to focus on the same virtues as last year so I put up a bulletin board with all nine virtues on it. This one began it's transformation today and will get finished tomorrow.

I also acquired another bulletin board in a more centralized location in the school. It was a last minute addition, but I am very happy with the way it turned out. Each of the apples names the nine virtues we will be learning about this year. This one came down as well today to make way for our September virtue - Responsibility.

Preschool Virtues Lessons

All year long I have been going into the preschool classroom to do a virtues lesson each month. Each time I went in, we discussed that month's virtue and then the students were able to color in a page for a book we were creating. We had our last virtues lesson and I was able to put the books together. I am so pleased with how they turned out. And the students remembered each time I came in that their pages would go into their books.

The coloring pages can be found here.

Fairness Lessons

1st Grade Fairness Lesson

We read "Four Hens and a Rooster" by Lena and Olof Landstrom and discussed the issue of inequality brought up in the book. We then discussed different rules that the class must follow to be fair. Examples included taking turns, playing by the rules, respecting each other, etc. Each student got to decorate a hen and pick a rule of fairness that they were going to follow. We then glued all the hens to the class's "chicken coop".

5th Grade Fairness Lesson

In 5th grade, we discussed the saying "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" and how sometimes certain situations do not seem very fair (privileges at home or school) but that we really don't know what fairness is until we see something from someone else's perspective. Each student decorated a shoe and had to put the quote above in their own words.